Cry on the floor if you must. Grab a pillow and sob if it helps. Let your feelings of guilt or shame anger and fear fall out of you.
For there is honor in a good death especially the daily death of everyday living.
because it’s alright to be solitary darling for at least you know what is true.
Seeing you again breaks me open. All the emotions I held back from within
you knew that maybe if you had landed after searching for dry land in a sea of potential hazards and no ones on some long-lost island you’d have to stay there forever with the wrong person until death finally came to claim you.
stop playing the victim when what happened between us ended not because of what I said but because of what you did do. And it was you that wanted goodbye to last for eternity.
They are not fighting for you and you are always left without and alone staring at the ceiling in the darkness of your dwelling with a heart pounding in your head desiring someone you cannot have wishing you could at least have gotten to know them and know of their existence before the rejection settled in to give you a fighting chance.
There are some places I cannot visit for they remind me of you. They hold your energy in the room like thick clouds of cigarette smoke. My lungs can’t take it in. I choke.
Life is a never-ending series of impossibilities and disappointments and I’m done playing them all as if something new is going to happen when I collapse to the floor.
You sigh knowing there’s nothing you can do. But take a deep breath and plunge.