Disappear

You never stood up to me I always had to run the show. I guess that’s why I left you darling I was so bored being with someone and yet still feeling so alone.

 I pass the mud.
I pass the pond.
I frolic
with myself in my mind.
And my thoughts move beyond
scope relatable to human kind.
 
He lifts me up and carries me over
so that my shoes won’t get dirty.
I used to love the way he did that.
Played the game of chivalry.
Now I kind of hate him for it.
 
Why didn’t you fight me harder
when I decided to hide and pull away?
Why didn’t you notice sooner
that our relationship had changed?
 
You never stood up to me
I always had to run the show.
I guess that’s why I left you darling
I was so bored being with someone
and yet still feeling so alone.
 
As if the relationship wasn’t about us.
It was just me,
musing through my thoughts
time after time
painstakingly
feeling so foreign and unknown.
 
If I’m going to be alone
then why pretend I am not
with you by my side?
Your presence never meant
that you were actually present.
We never seemed to walk together
hand to hand, foot to foot in stride.
You weren’t actually there.
And in the end
it wasn’t just me
that periodically
disappeared.