Wishful Thinking

We’d lack glory and patience. Purity and holiness. We’d combine familiarity with tenderness. We’d fuck more often and we’d talk a lot less.

 I’d love to get lost in you.
Wrap my arms in.
You’d hold me close
but you’d never let me in.
 
Like the ocean.
Like a band of wild horses.
Like the wind.
You would fake all the real emotions
and hide the real emotions in.
 
I would enjoy the motion
of rocking back and forth with you.
Fighting passionately.
and playing hard
trying to get into your heart.
To find out what I truly want to feel.
To find out who I really am and where to start.
 
Your body in my body.
Awakened like after birth.
We’d be best friends and lovers.
It would be nasty, dirty, down to earth.
 
Meaningful but also meaningless.
Purposeful but not painless.
It would all be so courageous.
We’d be so full of laughter
from late night until sunrise.

We’d hide our eternal anger
and drown our eternal sadness.
We’d wrap so close into each other.
We’d expose our darkest selves our hidden madness.
 
We’d lack glory and patience.
Purity and holiness.
We’d combine familiarity with tenderness.
We’d fuck more often
and we’d talk a lot less.
 
You’d spill all over and through me
and I would pretend I could care less.
And you’d pretend you were falling for me
when we both know I’m just another conquest.
 
All because you are a maze
and you never let anyone get too close.
The vulnerability of it all
makes you choke.
 
So we'd fuck and fuck
and then fuck it all up again.
And I would cry and rage.
And we’d break apart and bend
back together over and over
trying to mend
the broken pieces of ourselves.
 
Which is why
I can never go there with you.
Because I know you’d never love me
the way I was born to love you.
And I’d end up missing you anyway.
Like hell.
And now I’m even more broken
But stronger and wiser
as well.