Repeated Mistakes

Caressed. Played with. Manipulated. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was all a lie as long as you didn’t know it was because you were an addict.

 You didn’t want to be really loved.
You wanted to be adored.
Handpicked.
Selected.
Pampered.
F---ked so hard
you could taste cherries
in your mouth.
Wanted so hard
you felt like you were on fire.
Caressed.
Played with.
Manipulated.
It wouldn’t have mattered
if it was all a lie
as long as you didn’t know it was
because you were an addict.
You loved that feeling of being cherished
even when you’re not really cherished.
You love thinking you’re falling in love
even when you know you’re not falling in love.
You need to feel wanted.
Needed.
So when or if
you finally realized you needed someone too
it wouldn’t hurt you
or suffocate you
when you realized
they wanted to love you
and you wanted to love them too.