To be and to become,
I smile, though my heart is empty.
Hollowed out and open.
Like a cave with no echoing sound
It breeds a silence that is its own form of communication.
Deep in my cave, I discover the deepest parts of myself
I wait patiently for the answer I sought after
that never came.
Waiting for any light to creep in,
but there is only blackness
in the space between what is and what could have been.
I have played a foolish game on myself
locking my heart up in a box like that.
It claws out from me like demon
begging to be released.
I am hollow, yet I am full.
Filled with lost desires and emotions,
unrequited loves, and false devotions.
I regret everything.
I regret nothing.
I regret my awakening.
I regret myself.
If only my heart was as weightless and as strong as a butterfly
or as hopeful as a child not yet mired by life’s disappointments.
But my heart is silent and alone in some dark cave,
Beating. It beats alone.
Convinced that no one.
No not one.
Could ever love me in return.